Listen nah, if you haven't been watching Real Housewives of Miami lately, this season seven, you're missing what we like to call a whole Caribbean carnival – except instead of feathers and beads, we're serving designer lewks and premium shade. Serving Palm Tree Shade: Where the shade is as wide as our leaves and twice as intentional. 🌴

Let's talk about how the Real Housewives of Miami are clutching their Hermès pearls over a Caribbean woman’s "excessive" energy. The fact that Kiki had to deliver the "too much" message to Guerdy can only be described as a tragic Haitian-on-Haitian crime. The nerve of making one Haitian woman tell another Haitian woman she's too extra? That's like asking Jamaicans to whisper at a dance hall or telling Trinis not to wine at carnival. Make it make sense! Apparently, being passionate, expressive, and unapologetically yourself is "too much" for Miami's delicate sensibilities.

Oh, honey, you haven't lived until you've watched Atlanta housewives discover Jab Jab. The Real Housewives of Atlanta traded their Louboutins for motor oil in Grenada, and let's just say Carlos King’s 0/10-episode rating proves he might need a Caribbean cultural awakening.